


Hold my hand I'll set you free

by gemmstone



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ballumhalloween, Confused!Callum, Crossroads Demon - Freeform, M/M, demon!ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-08 04:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21230018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemmstone/pseuds/gemmstone
Summary: A confused, desperate and alone Callum seeks help in the most extreme way he can think of, by making a deal with a crossroads demon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Ballum halloween. No warnings have been added yet but I'll update as I upload. This is my first Ballum fic so, fingers crossed I do well!

Desperation, the one thing Callum had been feeling more than usual recently. Desperation caused him to make the most irrational decisions- it’s why he went to the army, the desperation to prove to his father that he was a real man. 

Desperation had lead him here. 

Why was he doing this? This surely wasn’t his final option. Callum knew there were other ways to get what he needed, but at this point, the desperation was becoming almost unbearable. 

Taking a deep breath, he mentally prepared himself for the events to come. It was night, almost midnight to be exact, and Callum waited eagerly for the clock on his phone to tick over to 00:00. He was in the park, rocking back and forth on one of the two tire swings, gazing up to the moon. 

Callum had just been discharged from the army, his leg injury made joining the army again impossible. Originally, he hadn’t thought civilian life would be somewhat bearable, but the more he endured the normality of civilian life, the more he realized how boring and dull it’d be. He felt useless, he felt defenseless. 

Of course he tried getting out there, he met people, made friends. Sure, they were nice people but none of them he could really call his best friend- not after the bonds he made in the army. Still, he hung out with them, drank with them. The people around him helped keep his mind away from the visions of the army. The visions only occurred when he was alone, people around him seemed to drown them out. 

Both his brother and father agreed that he needed to get a girlfriend, it was the only thing they did agree on at this point. That word alone was enough to scare Callum, he’d never been much of a ladies man after all- in fact, he was still a virgin at the age of 27. He never truly understood why until he met Chris. The second he met Chris he knew their bond ran more than just friendship, he loved him- but he didn’t have the balls to delve into that, falling in love with a man scared him way more than having a girlfriend, only because it was how he’d been condition all his life. He often thought maybe it’s just a phase, and the love of a good woman would make that all go away? 

But it wasn’t a phase, those feelings had stuck with him. Having a girlfriend was less painless than having a boyfriend, because it’d mean that Callum would have to accept who he was. 

Glancing down to his phone, it was almost time. Taking a deep breath, he watched as the seconds flew by- 51, 52, 53. With each second, the more he questioned what he was going to say- he knew that demons were tricky beings to deal with and saying the wrong thing would end up biting him in the ass later. It was too late to back out now, too late to run away in fear.

“You called?” 

Callum shot up from the swing, hands shaking as he pivoted on his heel, turning to look at the source of the voice. Standing with his body pressed against the brick wall was what honestly looked like a normal person. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he was shorter than him- either Callum was tall or demons were short, and rather young looking. His mouth opened, and he found himself speechless, as if he had just realized what he was about to do. 

“Kid’s playground, that’s a first. Normally I get forests in the middle of nowhere, crossroads are a popular choice- had a few meetings in nightclub toilets… but this is the first playground I’ve been summoned to…” But before the demon could finish his sentence, words finally began flowing from Callum’s lips.

“Why do you sound local?” 

At Callum’s question, the demon’s brow raised slightly, his seemingly emotionless expression now being replaced by a smirk. 

“I must say, you’re the first person to pick up on that. Well done, smart cookie. My voice changes depending where I’m summoned to… Just makes our deal easier to close, the accent makes you trust me more, and understand me better of course. Now, what can I offer you?” 

Callum gulped slightly, he knew what he wanted, he just wanted to be normal. He wanted a girl to be into him. At this point, he’d rather live a lie than have to face the truth, have to face his family… and himself. Trying to convince the world that he was straight just seemed easier and honestly less damaging than telling everyone his secret. 

“I want a girl to be interested in me, that’s all I want.” His voice was shaky, almost cracking with emotion. The demon rolled his eyes, sighing slightly at the rather typical request. Saying it outloud made Callum realize how pathetic and weak he sounded. He could have asked for anything, and here he is, asking a demon to make a girl fancy him because he’s too scared to even show interest in a woman.

“Is that really what you want, cause I’m telling you mate- that’s one of the most common requests I get. You can ask for anything- money, a better life, your worst enemy to die in a tragic accident… are you sure you want a girl?”

The demon was right- he had anything to offer Callum. Callum could have easily asked for a more accepting father and brother, money to get away from his family and start a new and better life, but in Callum’s mind it just seemed easier to change his life than want to change the situation.

After a lot of thinking, Callum nodded his head, and Ben looked almost disappointed with him. The demon didn't have to give him anything, but as it was such a minor request he wanted to see how it played out. 

"Very well, you've got a deal. At the moment I don't want anything from you. Not yet anyway. Well, other than another meeting, same place, same time, in about… six months?"

This was odd- Callum knew demons always wanted something in return. He tilted his head in confusion… what could be the catch about this one? 

“Y-you, don’t want anything yet?” 

“Like I said, not yet… I’ll see you in six months.” And with that, the demon extended his hand towards Callum. The mortal looked down, before slowly and timidly accepting the hand shake. “You’re lucky, usually deals are sealed with a kiss, but- since I don’t want anything from you yet, a handshake will do nicely.” 

Callum wasn’t sure about when to pull his hand away from the demon’s grasp- would the deal not work if he pulled his hand away too soon? Luckily he wasn’t left hanging forever as the demon pulled his hand away, allowing Callum to awkwardly withdraw his hand and lower it down to hang by his side. 

“So then, Callum Highway… I’ll see you in six months.” A small smile appeared on the demon’s lips, before he disappeared with a blink of an eye. Callum desperately looked around, hoping no one had seen their meeting. He scanned over every darkened corner of the street, even the windows- looking for the odd moving certain, nothing- it appeared no one had witnessed the exchange between Callum and the demon. 

Before he forgot, he added the date of his next meeting with the demon into his phone, simply adding the title ‘meeting’. He couldn’t call the event ‘Meeting with a demon’ in his callender just in case his future girlfriend or anyone else goes snooping through his phone. He couldn’t help but wince ever so slightly, imagining how difficult it must be to explain to his future girlfriend that she only fancied him because of a demon.

Closing his eyes, the realization of what had just happened hit him like a ton of bricks. Arms wrapped his front, the cold air hitting his body as the addrenelin of the situation began to die down. The desperation he had been feeling turned into regret. No deal had been reached between Callum and the demon yet, but that made the situation more terrifying for him. The demon could ask for anything and everything he wanted from him, and Callum had no choice but to give it to him.


	2. Six Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting between Callum and the Demon six months later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh. Thank you so much for the feedback on the first chapter.

It had been six months since Callum’s encounter with the demon. And true to the demon’s word, he was asked out shortly after the encounter- well, the next day to be exact. It was Whtiney Dean, one of the people Callum usually went for drinks with. She was always friendly and supportive of him, and the more Callum thought back to their time together, it definitely could have been flirting, but Callum of course missed all the signs. Callum of course said yes, she was a beautiful and kind girl, any man would be lucky to have her. 

Their first date had been getting chips, it wasn’t the date they planned to go on- but the weather made it difficult to go on a walk like they previously planned. It didn’t feel like a date either, it felt more a spontaneous trip to get to know each other that somehow turned into a date. Whitney asked questions like how long ago did your last relationship end, and Callum had to casually mention that he hasn’t dated in at least five years. That admission had certainly shocked Whitney, she didn’t understand how a bloke as nice as Callum could remain single for five months let alone five years. 

It took a while for the pair to have sex, Callum hadn’t lost his virginity yet. Whitney asked him why he hadn’t, and Callum had to make up an excuse- he didn’t think that saying he’s always been scared of having sex with women would go well with Whitney. He’d had sex multiple times since then, but not often, not as often as Whitney would hope. Often when she’d try to initiate it, he’d play dumb, act like he had no idea what was going on or act like he didn’t feel well. He originally thought he was scared of sex with a woman, but no- instead he found himself completely uninterested in it.

Whilst Callum wasn’t a fan of the physical side of their relationship, he loved the emotional side. Their bond emotionally was perfect, constantly making each other laugh and bringing out the best in one another. Whitney understood him emotionally, well- as best she could given the circumstances. They spent a lot of their free time together now, and often she’d spent around five nights a week at his, in the little flat above Callum’s work. She spent around five nights with him, and Callum had grown quite fond of their time together. It had only started out as one night, then it became three, then without realizing it the pair had developed a routine, Callum didn’t mind… he quite enjoyed their routine after a while.

It felt real, it felt genuine. It felt like natural love… yes, Callum loved her. Of course he felt guilty and paranoid that he needed a demon to achieve love, but for now, he just wanted to enjoy it. 

He found himself back in the park again, same time as before, six months later. He felt more nervous this time as he awaited the demon’s company. He had more to lose this time, now that he had Whitney and what felt like a future to look forward to. Callum was almost sure that the demon would use his new found love against him.

Just like the last time, he rocked back and forth on the tire swing, his gaze either down on his phone or on the moon, anything to pass the time that was slowly beginning to feel like an eternity. 

“Hello again Cal.” Came the familiar voice. Very much like last time it came from behind him. He didn’t jump like last time, it didn’t catch him off guard. Callum simply stood up, turning on his heels to see the demon again. The demon stood there, same clothes, same smirk plastered across his face… same everything. Only this time, he had a mark around his eye, what looked like a black eye mixed with a burn, but other than that he looked exactly the same. “Catch up time! How’s the last six months been for ya?” 

“They’ve been good… thank you. Whitney, my girlfriend asked me out the day after our meeting, and ever since then I’ve been on top of the world.” He smiled at the demon, trying to show him that he was happy. He thought that if he forced the smile, it’d become genuine.

Of course, the demon could see behind the fake smile. He could see the pain and misery behind the brave face. He stepped closer to Callum, eyes squinting as he looked over his face. 

“Who are you trying to convince? Me, or yourself?”

“I… I don’t-” 

“Yes, you do. You’re not happy. That smile looks forced and sad… you ain’t happy. Are ya? Why not? You got the girl-” 

“I only got the girl because of you!” His voice came out a lot louder and a lot more aggressive than he intended it to. The demon’s face straightened up, before a loud laugh escaped from his lips. 

“Look mate… I don’t know how to tell ya… we didn’t make a deal. I lied.. I can’t make a girl like you. A girl already liked you, she asked you out on her own accord… You overestimate my power, a demon can’t make anyone like ya. A demon can’t even make a deal with a handshake.”

Callum’s jaw dropped. He wanted to argue with him, he knew demons lied all the time... but he knew that demon’s didn’t lie or joke about their own deals. He shook his head in disbelief, trying to read him, but he couldn’t read anything from his face- damn demon’s had good poker faces. 

“You’re lying.” 

“Am I though?” 

Callum looked away momentarily, the anger growing on his face. He didn’t get angry often, but now he was ready to scream. 

“Oh no…” The serious look on the demon’s face faded, and was instead replaced by an amused smirk. “You’re not gonna open a vain are ya?” And before the demon had anytime to react, his back hit the wall behind him with a thud. Callum’s hands were wrapped in his shirt, holding him close. 

Callum tried his best to look threatening, but then he heard his shallow breaths, and realized how close they were. His expression softened ever so slightly, and without realizing his gaze lowered down to his lips. However, he quickly realized his mistake and in an attempt to cover it his gaze quickly slipped back to his eyes. The taunting smirk disappeared from the demon’s lips, of course he had noticed Callum’s slip up.

The demon couldn’t stop himself from letting his gaze flicker down to the human’s lips. He wanted to see how this would play out, he wanted to push Callum’s buttons. He slowly lifted his chin up, like he was getting ready to kiss to kiss him. Callum responded by mirroring his actions, lifting his chin up too- well, until the demon quickly lowered his. Callum’s eyes widened, watching as the demon inhaled sharply. 

Tears began forming in Callum’s eyes as he watched closely, the demon breathing deeply, eyes closed. It felt like an eternity until the next words came from his lips. 

“I smell queer…”

Callum immediately backed away. He felt vulnerable, he felt completely exposed. Hand reached up to wipe the tears away as they began falling down his cheek. 

“And suddenly it all falls into place… that’s why you’re so eager to get a girlfriend... You’d even come to a demon, to hide your little secret. You like blokes.” 

“Shut up! I ain’t like that…” Callum quickly countered, trying his best to wiggle his way out of the situation. He knew there was no point, that he had now been exposed for what he truly was, but he was going to try and get out of it.

“Come on mate, I’ve been there myself. My dad wasn’t exactly one hundred percent accepting of me when I came out…” 

That seemed to grab his attention, the idea of a demon coming out was almost strange to Callum. 

“Y-you, you came out?”

“I’m gay too you know Cal… Back when I was alive, I came out to my drunken mess of a dad, knew I could never be what he wanted me to be… I used to live round here too. I moved away with my daughter and my daughter’s mum, course- the rest of my family still live here.”

“Was it hard? To come out?” Callum’s voice was a small whisper. He knew what it was like, to not be what his father wanted him to be… he knew it far too well. The tears began forming in his eyes again, not because he was scared or angry- but because he found himself empathising with the demon.

“Yeah, hardest thing I’ve ever done…” The sarcasm had completely disappeared from the demon’s voice. He always hid behind a thick layer of sarcasm, but not this time. He felt vulnerable, exposed… he hated it. His emotions changed, like something had flicked a switch inside him, and the vulnerability completely left. The thick layer of sarcasm the demon seemed to use as almost a shield quickly came back up. 

“Well I’m not here to tell you my entire life story. And relax- your little secret’s safe with me. Now, if you don’t mind, I better be off… I have some very important travelling to do tomorrow. See you around...” 

And just like the previous encounter, the demon vanished in the blink of an eye. Callum couldn’t stop himself from quickly scanning the area, just in case the demon was still around, watching him in the shadows. After checking each darkened corner in view, he felt somewhat safe. Arms wrapped around his body, holding his coat close to his chest. A single tear slid down his rosy cheek. He knew he’d see the demon again, most of him was absolutely dreading their next encounter, but a tiny part of him was looking forward to it.


End file.
